If you fancy spending a weekend frolicking around like a fifteen fingered farmer the West Country Games brings you all the stupid, stanky and just a little bit special bits about cider country.
You’ll have so much fun you’ll start to fancy your sister as each of you competes in up to 9 different West Country themed games celebrating the ooh and the aar of the West Country.
The Cider Run: Stick a glass of cider on 1 of 3 trays set up along a runway. Basic right? Not when you’re attached to a bungee cord tighter than nuns country boots whilst legging it like a stabbed rat it isn’t.
Vicky Pollard Handbags: 2 contestants wearing fat suits get to batter each other with handbags like Gemma Collins in the frozen foods aisle until one of you gives it up.
Pitchfork Duel: A modern take on the classic west country past time, ‘pitchfork fighting’. Presumably designed to sort out which of your brothers gets to marry your cousin. Basically, with today’s version you get 2 platforms, 2 contenders and 2 inflatable pitchforks, you just need to battle until you knock your opponent off their platform.
Welly Wanging: Not to be confused with Wang Wellying where you take a rubber boot to the nuts, Welly Wanging means throwing a welly boot at a target because what else are you going to throw at it?
Wurzel Knockout: No you don’t get to mow down some famous pensioners with a combine harvester, but you do get to launch water bombs to hit mannequins dressed up as The Wurzels from a super-sized catapult attached to your feet. Blackbird I’ll av ee.
Mangold Dangling: Get yourself up on a cider keg and stand on one leg. A bit like skittles but not like skittles at all, your contender lobs a bag of potatoes at you and tries to knock you off.
Tractor Tyre Roll: This one pretty much does what it says on the tin. Get your team behind a gurt big tractor tyre and roll it to the finish line before the other team.
Farmers Shower: Sorry to break it to you but it’s not a Pornhub fetish video and there won’t be any of that ‘how’s your father’ going on round these parts. Sit yourself down on the tractor seat of truth and answer some questions, get em wrong, get drenched.
Drunk Pub Skittles: You’ve got three attempts to knock down nine wooden skittles with your straw bales. No high tech messin’ here, just good old fashioned fun.
And that’s your lot, good ol’ West Country fun with a proper stag weekend twist. Get yourself round there and try it out, but don’t be staying too long if you’re not local.
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